Dress Rehearsal

Scene

The door of the fitting room opened wide to reveal a pair of medium sized bare feet, a pair of well rounded calves which would put the fattest chicken drumsticks to shame, hip rounder than those of females you would see in old ravi varma paintings, waist as slim as a housewife's, well endowed bust further bettered by the deep and wide neckline and a spectacled round face with a questioning look.

A : So what do you think?

N : hmmmmmmm (long one) It's really nice, accentuates your features, a bit on the shorter side. Only problem is you remind me of the girls in c grade mallu skin flicks & I will get you this dress only for bathroom and bedroom wear. You get out of that dress immediately !!!!

A : (deep sigh)

The rotund figure slinks back into the fitting room. Door slams shut.

Well, that was one of my many dress rehearsals. It was a beautiful cream n white satin dress, but the judge clearly said what it reminded him of and no contest. The second was a grey dress which didnt actually do anything for me, but did wonders for his pocket. So we finally bought it because we couldnt find anything else that would fit my hips and his pocket equally well. I was a size large in most brands in India & here sometimes my chest fits but my hips dont and sometimes the other way round. Here I fall in the petite category & fit in most medium sized tops and bottoms. I wasnt quite happy with the the dress or may be i didnt know there were other dresses which could make me happier. So we continued hunting, thanks to my patient half. I found a Calvin Klein Shirt dress which was really smart, but only problem was that i couldnt sit down while i was in it, the buttons would pop open under the stress of my layered fat. In addition the judge said no ways. He sure wasnt a great fan of peeping body parts, specially his emotional half's. And we did find something that made me happier. It was red all over, with black vertical lines which made me look taller than i was. The cloth was thicker than those of most other dresses i had seen, because they didnt openly advertise my intimate wear. And it had this little black lace which could be tied into a bow at the waist. Most importantly, it fitted my hips & his pocket & it didnt remind him of anyone sleazy. So like the cat who got the cream, we took it home. I wore the dress when we went to Balharbour shops, Miami. I've been to a lot of malls, in India and abroad, upscale , downscale, medium scale, all scales, but this was out of this world. The shops housed there reminded me of the fashion week in FTV. Versace, Gucci,YSL,Chanel,De Beers, Armani,Cartier,D&G,Dior,Escada,Fendi,Jimmmy Choo,LAcoste,Louis Vuitton,Prada,Tiffany and what not. I gawked wide mouthed at their exhibits and peered wide eyed into their shops. We didnt muster enough courage to even get into any of those shops. The shoppers who came there looked like they were imported from some ramp in Paris, dressed to the hilt, in fur coats, leather and boots. However, there were a few like us who came there for the sole purpose of proving a point which is that we have gone there & for a photo shoot. If there's one place unfit even for window shopping i guess this was it. The opulence and indulgence of the glitterati who came there was so intimidating that i felt like i was out of place.